Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
