We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
you never un-have a 4some
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize