Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
