Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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