Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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