Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
