so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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