Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize