Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
