Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
