ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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