my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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