i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
