I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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