He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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