OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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