ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
