weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
