He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
