I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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