apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
