we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
