I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize