so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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