Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
