I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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