So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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