I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
