i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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