oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
