I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
