I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
