People in love make me want to vomit
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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