Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
