Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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