people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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