apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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