the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
