dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
