You made me cry and you don't even care
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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