Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the day after is always just damage control
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
