lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
