There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
