Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
