YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize