Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
