i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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