You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need a burrito and a hug.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
