Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize