He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
