Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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