I could have mohawked her pubes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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