note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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