I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
