apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
