We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
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I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
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Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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