Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
