You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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