I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize